Disclaimer: On Institutional Silence and State-Coerced Cruelty is not an attack on individuals or institutions. This blog post highlights the serious issue of institutional science in the public interest to help move towards a healthcare system with more accountability.

Trigger Warning: This blog post and accompanying video contain sensitive content relating to mental health neglect, suicide and fears of posthumous gaslighting. Please watch the video with care. There is a long list of helplines provided at the end of the video should you need support.

In the meantime, if you need support, please call NHS 111 (option 2) or Samaritans freephone on 116 123.

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Summary

In my previous post and campaign video, I documented that I have made three public requests on X to Penny Dash (chair of NHS England), the Department of Health and Social Care (DHSC), 30 regulators, and 40 elected representatives, asking them to arrange an independent review of my medical condition and to implement urgent mental health support for me.

I have not had a response from any of them. Thirty regulators and 40 MPs have met me with a wall of silence.

This blog post and video document how this systemic cruelty and coldness feel. It also revisits my story, which I have framed as an institutional cover-up. Lastly, it expresses my fears that in the event I don’t survive this, the state will posthumously gaslight me and rewrite my story.

Coldness

I don’t think I can find the words to express how this coldness and silence from the state feel. Thirty regulators and 40 MPs constitute the state.

I have made a rational and reasonable request to all of them. I have requested an independent review of my facial pain condition free from institutional deception and cover-up. This request is based on the fact that the majority of NHS trusts I have visited have identified abnormal pathology in my case. However, they have not acted on these abnormal findings. It is therefore a fair and reasonable request that clinicians explain to me what these abnormalities are and use these findings to inform an accurate diagnosis of my condition.

A major part of my campaign (#FeliciasCampaign) has been my request for regulators to put in place urgent mental health support for me. I have been clear to NHS England and the DHSC that I do not feel I will be able to survive without immediate mental health support. My request is also reasonable given that Tees, Esk and Wear Valleys Trust (TEWV) and North Yorkshire County Council have left me with no support or safeguarding after I survived a fatal suicide attempt in February 2025.

Institutional Silence

For all of these bodies to respond to me with silence defies the definition of cruelty. This institutional silence from regulators and MPs is calculated coldness. This isn’t an administrative oversight. They are choosing to ignore my pleas for help because reaching out to me would mean acknowledging fault. Regulators are choosing to protect the institutional image of the NHS trusts and GPs involved in my case. They are putting reputational protection over the cost of a human life.

Their silence demonstrates a profound disregard for my well-being and the sanctity of my life. It’s despicable.

Institutional Cover-Up

This institutional silence from regulators and MPs seems to prove what I have been saying all along: that my story is an institutional cover-up. I believe that it is.

It started with my medical problem. It began with denial that my problem was an infection in 2014 at Leeds Teaching Hospitals. An ophthalmologist kicked me off the ward and stopped all of my antibiotic medication. The covering moved onto Guy’s and St Thomas’ NHS Foundation Trust, where I believe the dental radiologist who performed the last sialendoscopy in January 2017 was not honest about the clinical findings.

Then the covering and denial went through to The North Manchester General Hospital, who, in spite of finding abnormal pathology in my parotid tissue, refused to culture it or do further diagnotis tests on my tissue. Following this, I believe that it is possible that Charing Cross Hospital have deleted or concealed some of my radiology images from an MRI neck scan that they performed on 23rd May, 2019. I believe that this hospital may have concealed this evidence to cover for the salivary gland unit at Guy’s Hospital.

Lancashire Teaching Hospitals, Aintree Hospital, and the Manchester Royal Infirmary subsequently shirked their responsibilities. Chorley and Preston Hospital referred me to Manchester University NHS Trust. Aintree University Hospital refused to see me for no reason, and the Manchester Road Infirmary directed me back to Guy’s Hospital instead of taking action internally.

I then experienced obscene discrimination and denial of care at NHS Fife and NHS Lothian, where they too ignored abnormal clinical findings. I then experienced severe gaslighting at South Tees. Two clinicians refused to acknowledge my problem, and then York Hospital found an abnormality on an MRI neck scan in July 2022, which they failed to act on.

Mental Health and Social Services

This widespread abandonment and harm isn’t confined to medical teams. It has spread to mental health services and adult social care. I believe that both of these agencies are complicit in the covering up of the situation. Tees, Esk and Wear Valleys Trust (TEWV) has denied me crisis care and mental health support following my suicide attempt. North Yorkshire County Council (NYCC) has then ignored three safeguarding concerns. They also terminated my statutory support in 2023 for no reason.

Additionally, both of these organisations have been responsible, I believe, for trying to cover up the scale of my crisis. This is illustrated by TEWV’s crisis team telling NYCC to close down the safeguarding concern that the CQC raised in February 2025, which NYCC did. They did not action the safeguarding concern, leaving me at risk.

GP

Last but not least, my GP surgery, Ampleforth Surgery, has been falsifying my records to conceal my suicide risk and downplay the extent of my mental health crisis.

Conclusively, I believe that all of the above prove that my story is an institutional cover-up. I believe that the institutional silence from regulators and MPs is protecting this cover-up. Their silence has made regulators now complicit in the harm.

Fears of Posthumous Gaslighting

This video also documents my fears about posthumous gaslighting. If my story ends tragically, and I do not survive, I am afraid that the state will conceal the facts. I fear that the truth will never be revealed.

I have no control over this. However, I am determined to reveal two aspects of this cover-up: the potential removal of files from Charing Cross Hospital and the falsification of my medical records by Ampleforth Surgery. These are the two most significant injustices in my story that have caused me the most harm.

I have made two public requests to the ICO on X to carry out an audit trail of my records regarding these incidents. However, on both occasions they deflected responsibility and ignored me. It is in the public interest for the ICO to investigate both of these incidents. This misconduct does not only undermine my safety, but it also compromises the integrity of our entire healthcare system.

I also state in this video that it is in the public interest for regulators to investigate the leadership at Ampleforth Surgery. There was a serious incident at this practice in August 2023. A man set fire to the surgery, for which I am very sorry. It was a terrible tragedy. Thankfully, no one was hurt.

However, the facts never came to light about why he did it. The fire, coupled with my disclosures, indicates a possible lack of integrity at this practice. Regulatory bodies must investigate this practice to ensure the safety of other patients.

Conclusion

The institutional silence from regulators proves a contradiction to everything that they say they are about. Regulators exist for the sake of the public. They exist to protect the public. Ignoring a patient in crisis and multiple serious patient safety incidents that I have reported throughout my campaign does not protect the public. It allows misconduct to go unregulated. It also allows it to continue

If regulators do not adhere to their own guidelines, follow the duty of candour and investigate complaints with rigour, we will be forever stuck in a ‘lessons have been learnt’ culture. Patients will never receive redress for their complaints and critical oversights, and a lack of accountability will continue to harm patients across the NHS system.

This institutional silence and state-enforced cruelty are unacceptable.

Video 17: Advocacy Video Campaign

Photo Credits: Mick Haupt, Simon Lee and Scott Umstattd on Unsplash. Olly, Ivan S and Mikhail Nilov on Pexels.